When I speak to clients about creating a life they love, one of the first questions I ask is: “What do you spend most of your time on?”** The answers are always revealing. Then, I ask, **“Do those things align with what you *really* want?”** And, almost every time, the answer is a resounding *NO*.
Why is that?
You see, life is either aligned with your values, or it isn’t. You have a unique set of values, and when your choices reflect those values, everything feels… right. There’s a sense of fulfilment and peace—a knowing that you are living authentically. On your deathbed, you could look back with a smile and say, **“I truly lived my life.”**
But when your life is out of alignment? That’s when the treadmill starts. You’re constantly striving, pushing, and reaching for the next thing, but it never feels like enough. And why is it never enough? Because you can’t fill the void with things that don’t genuinely matter to you.
Let’s explore this a little more.
The Things We Strive For
We all have a list of “things we strive for.” Common ones include:
- Money
- Recognition or fame
- Power or status
- Sex
- Achievement
- Material possessions (big house, flashy car)
- More time
Now, compare that with what people say they really want when they dig deep:
- Love
- Intimacy
- Adventure
- Peace
- Security
- Freedom
- Creativity and self-expression
Do you see the difference?
A client of mine once shared that she was obsessed on achieving success. But as we peeled back the layers, it became clear that her drive for achievement was rooted in a desire to feel accepted. She didn’t actually care about the accolades—what she truly longed for was a sense of belonging.
The Reality of Striving
Here’s the thing: most people believe that if they achieve the *things* they’re striving for—money, fame, success—they’ll naturally get what they really want: love, peace, or freedom. But it doesn’t work like that.
Let me put it another way:
"Typical life often looks like this: wearing clothes you bought for work, sitting in traffic in a car you’re still paying off, heading to a job you need to afford the house that sits empty most of the day."*
Does that sound like fulfilment to you?
And here’s the kicker: Anything you’re striving for that isn’t rooted in your values will always feel out of reach.
Why Not Go Straight for the Good Stuff?
What if, instead of striving for the *things*, you focused directly on what you *really* want?
Go straight for love, adventure, peace, or whatever fills your soul. Get off the treadmill. Start living your life for you—not for society’s version of success.
Action Time: Realigning Your Priorities
Ready to reassess? Let’s dive into three simple steps:
Step 1: Ask Yourself
“What’s ONE thing I want more of in my life?”
If you were granted the chance to have just one thing in your life, what would you choose? More of something you already have or something entirely new? Be honest with yourself. Is it love? Adventure? Freedom? Peace?
Step 2: Reflect on Your Time
What do you spend most of your time striving for?
If you value strong relationships, are you actively nurturing them, or are you spending hours working overtime for more money? Do the “80-test”: Imagine yourself at 80, looking back on your life. Will the things you’re striving for today allow you to feel fulfilled and proud?
Step 3: Realign and Take Action**
If your priorities are aligned, congratulations! But if they’re not, it’s time to make changes.
What are you willing to let go of to realign your life with what matters most? Write it down. Then, define the specific actions you’ll take to bring about change.
For example: if you’re spending too much time at work and want to focus on health, you might set a limit on your working hours and commit to regular exercise or meal planning during the time you’ve freed up.
Final Thoughts
Pursuing what you *really* want isn’t always easy—it requires honesty, reflection, and action. But the reward? A life that feels full, purposeful, and authentically yours.
So, take a deep breath and ask yourself: **Am I pursuing what I really want?** If the answer is no, you have the power to change that. Your dream life starts with one simple step: choosing to live in alignment with your values.
Ready to Realign and Create Your Best Year Yet?
If you’re looking for support, accountability, and practical tools to align your life with what truly matters, join me for Your Best Year Yet, starting in January 2025. Together, we’ll set powerful intentions, overcome self-doubt, and create a roadmap for the life you love.
Don’t wait for change—make it happen. To learn more and secure your spot today, let’s connect, go to https://www.besomeboddie.com/Contacts/. Let’s make 2025 your most fulfilling year yet!
What Clients' Say ...
I signed up and went through the unlock your potential coaching program. It was something I initially wasn't too sure about although I wanted change. I knew that I had some issues that were deeply rooted and would take more than just a nudge to be shifted. One thing for certain I needed some help, nevertheless I took the course, not realising there would not be so many uncomfortable moments. Moments when I had to look at myself in the mirror, and face up to who I'd become, to look and say well that's not who I am, or who I want to be. Having consistent accountability yielded a growth spurt in my character...there were a few moments like this in the course. Overall, it has helped me tremendously with goal setting and planning my days with a to do list and so on. It's been a very interesting and rewarding journey on the course. I really enjoyed it.
Darrell Taylor
"It's been a pleasure to have rose as my coach. Rose has helped me to understand my thought patterns that have gotten in the way of me living up to my full potential. I started our sessions as someone who was dealing with a lot of internal conflict. After using her services, I've grown so much emotionally and mentally. I'm more confident and self assure than I have ever been. I attribute that to Rose's style of coaching. She's friendly and an excellent listener which made me feel like I could confide in her. Rose helped me to understand my problems and to put things into perspective, which has helped me to growth and move past thought patterns that were holding me back. Another thing that I love about her sessions is that I'd always leave feeling invigorated and inspired. Her service doesn't just stop at coaching, but it goes above and beyond to provide support. I could write down my thoughts about what I was feeling on our online journal and track my progress. I found this very useful because it held me accountable for my progress outside of our session and helped us to direct our session. I would highly recommend rose! She's had a huge impact on my life & I know she does the same for others.
Ashanty Alves
Rose is an incredibly skilled and intuitive coach. From the start she acknowledged it was my journey and that I was the expert of my life. By the time I had decided to make my first appointment my self-belief and confidence was not great. Rose was very personable and professional, the rapport and her interpersonal skills felt very authentic. I found her to be an effective listener and able to unpick the issues, she has an amazing gift of patience which clearly came across when I did not have the answers or know what direction to take. Rose supported and guided me to navigate to possibilities that I had not considered. Her strengths based approach stopped me from being too hard on myself for losing my direction in my own journey of life. She has the expertise that motivated me to a point where I was able to recognise my own potential. The journey was definitely not easy but with Rose's integrity, trustworthiness and her passion her coaching skills supported me in achieving my goals.
Francesca
Yes, I found myself. I was a bit lost looking after my health and my own feelings. I had forgotten. Always looking after others but forgot about myself. I learnt to express myself and how I feel. Since going to the workshops I have been showing and saying how I feel more.
NB, West Midlands
Rose is really thorough and doesn’t leave anything out. She really helped me to connect different areas of my life and to give a greater level of meaning to past events which have happened. Through doing so, this enabled me to have a better grasp on my future and where to focus my energy.
Shona M
Very good service
Helped me during difficult times
Very professional
Shola Adigee
"I have been impressed with Rose's approach to coaching, incredibly dynamic, constructively challenging, whilst empathic. I would highly recommend Rose to other professionals."
Tracy Gray, MBA
"It helped me to realise the importance of ongoing awareness and goals in your life to help you achieve things. The workshops introduced me to practical ways of approaching problems.
KH, Birmingham
