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The Power of Values: Creating a Life That Reflects What Matters Most

 

 

What Are Values?

Values are the things that hold the deepest meaning for us as individuals. They are the principles and standards that guide our choices, shaping everything from what we wear, who we marry, to how we raise our children. Our values help us navigate through life by determining what we see as important, meaningful, or even worth pursuing. In short, values are the compass we use to steer our lives, and they influence our thoughts, actions, and judgements.

 

Values are more than just abstract ideas; they are the driving force behind our decisions. Whether we realise it or not, every choice we make is grounded in what we value. They shape what we believe is right or wrong, determining our responses to everyday situations. While we often think of values as private, personal beliefs, they significantly impact our interactions with the world around us.

 

Why Are Values Important?

Values play an essential role in our lives because they act as our personal guidance system. When you are clear about your values, decision-making becomes easier, as you know what feels right and what doesn’t. This clarity helps reduce indecision and procrastination because you can align your actions with what truly matters to you.

 

Moreover, your values influence how you communicate with others. Whether you're aware of it or not, your conversations and relationships are shaped by the things you hold dear. If something resonates with your values, you are more likely to engage deeply; if not, you may feel disconnected. Values also reflect your needs—your brain is wired to interpret situations in a way that helps fulfil those needs. When you're in line with your values, life feels more purposeful and satisfying.

 

It’s important to remember that everyone’s values are different. No set of values is inherently right or wrong. What is meaningful to one person might not hold the same importance for another. This diversity in values is what makes our interactions with others so rich and sometimes challenging.

 

As the Dalai Lama said, “Open your arms to change but don’t let go of your values.” This quote reminds us that while life is full of uncertainty and change, our values are the bedrock that keep us grounded. Similarly, George Sheehan’s observation that “Anything that changes our values, changes our behaviour” highlights the deep connection between what we value and how we act.

 

Dr John Demartini speaks about the "Hierarchy of Values," referring to our highest values or top priorities as the source of our greatest leadership, creativity, and innovation. Your values are at the core of your goals and dreams, and when you align your life around what you truly value, the progress you make in empowering all areas of your life is remarkable.

 

Dr Demartini believes that knowing your values means getting clear on what you cherish most, allowing you to do more of what you love and love more of what you do. This alignment with your values is crucial in building self-belief and maintaining a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

 

The Influence of Others on Our Values

When I reflect on my own values, I see that many of them were shaped by the people around me—family, friends, and society. From an early age, we are often taught to honour the values of others, especially our parents or caregivers. We are told things like, "Dad and Mum won’t like it if you do that," or "People will think poorly of you if you behave in that way." Over time, we internalise these external expectations, learning to prioritise what others think rather than developing our own values.

 

Many of us become "people-pleasers" because we start shaping our behaviour to meet the expectations of others. We may not even realise that we are living according to someone else’s values rather than our own. It’s often only when something happens—a disagreement, a personal crisis—that we begin to question what we believe and why.

 

I realised that much of my own belief system was built around my family, and that family was my highest value. I grew up believing that family was everything—that blood was thicker than water. In my mind, family meant loyalty, support, and sticking together, no matter the cost, even at the expense of my own well-being.

 

My value of loyalty kept me in unhealthy relationships for the sake of maintaining a sense of unity. I believed that no matter how difficult or negative family or friends’ behaviour was towards me, I had to remain loyal. My values, in this case, weren’t lifting me up—they were holding me down.

 

There’s a saying that "your values will either pull you down or push you up," and for a long time, mine pulled me down. I was living by values that didn’t serve me, and it wasn’t until I began to re-evaluate them that I could start living in a way that felt true to myself.

 

The Importance of Determining Your Own Values

Determining your own values is an empowering process. It allows you to break free from the expectations of others and live according to what truly matters to you. When you know what you value most, you can build your life around those principles, leading to greater satisfaction, purpose, and self-belief.

 

Our beliefs and values are intricately linked. When you live in alignment with your values, you cultivate a sense of self-belief that keeps you moving forward, even in the face of challenges. It’s this self-belief that ultimately helps you achieve your goals and live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

 

By taking the time to understand your values, you can start doing more of what you love and loving more of what you do. And when you live according to your highest values, the progress you make in all areas of your life will be truly remarkable.

 

Aligning Daily Actions with Your Values

Understanding your values is just the beginning. To truly live a fulfilling life, you need to ensure your daily actions align with those core beliefs. When your actions are in harmony with your values, life flows more naturally, and decisions become easier because you’re acting from a place of authenticity.

 

1. Identify your values

Reflect on moments in life where you felt most fulfilled, proud, or connected to your true self. These experiences often highlight what matters most to you, whether it's integrity, freedom, or family. For example, if you feel proud when helping others, one of your core values might be compassion, guiding your decisions and actions towards kindness and support.

 

2. Reflect on your daily habits, decisions, and actions.

Ask yourself: are these actions supporting or contradicting my values? For example, if your value is health, yet you’re not prioritising self-care or exercise, there’s a misalignment.

 

3. Create value-based goals

To bring your values to life, set goals that directly align with them. If one of your values is personal growth, your daily actions could include reading a chapter of a self-development book, taking a class, or journaling your thoughts. If family is a core value, prioritising family time and meaningful conversations would be aligned with that.

 

Actions to Help You Stay in Alignment with Your Values:

1. Prioritise Your Day Around Your Values

Each morning, take 5–10 minutes to review your to-do list or goals for the day. Ask yourself how each task fits with your values. For instance, if your value is creativity, make time for activities that fuel that passion, whether it’s painting, writing, or brainstorming new ideas. By prioritising tasks that reflect your values, you create a life that’s in alignment with what matters most.

 

2. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Values

One of the biggest challenges in staying true to your values is external pressure. Whether it’s at work or in personal relationships, others can sometimes push you to act against your values. Learn to set boundaries that protect your core beliefs. If you value honesty but are often put in situations where you feel pressured to compromise that, communicate clearly about what’s important to you and hold firm.

 

3. Weekly Reflection: Are My Actions Reflecting My Values?

At the end of each week, set aside 15–20 minutes for a reflection practice, asking yourself the following questions:

• What did I do this week that aligned with my values?
• Where did I fall short, and why?
• What adjustments can I make moving forward?

 

Doing a weekly reflection helps you assess whether your daily actions are in line with your values and identify where you might need to make changes. By continually reflecting on your actions, you remain conscious of the path you’re on, allowing for course corrections as needed.

 

By consistently aligning your actions with your values, you’ll not only experience more fulfilment but also build a deeper sense of self-belief, as you live authentically and with purpose.

 

I trust this has given you some food for thought and a shift what you believe values are and how valuable values are to our lives. Your thoughts and feedback are welcomed 😊

 

If you’re ready to work in alignment with your values, let’s connect!  Join me on a journey to build the unwavering self-belief you deserve. Reach out today, and let’s start transforming your life, one step at a time.