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Understanding Confusion: The Secret to Moving Forward with Confidence

 

 

I once heard it said that what we teach is often what we need to learn for ourselves. I can wholeheartedly say this has applied to me, as for many years—though I wouldn't have admitted it then—I lived in a state of confusion. This confused state of mind created a great deal of conflict within myself, especially between what I wanted, what I believed I needed, and what I felt I could ever truly have. Yes, I was living in confusion, and you might be too without even realising it!

 

So, what exactly is confusion?

When I used to hear the word confusion, my first thought would be of a group of people causing a commotion, possibly an argument or disturbance.  I didn’t really associate confusion with being unsure, lost or merely not knowing what to do.  To better understand the meaning of confusion, I turned to the dictionary.  According to Collins Dictionaries, confusion id defined as: 

1) The act of confusing or the state of being confused,

2) Disorder,

3) Perplexity,

4) Lack of clarity,

5) Embarrassment or abashment,

6) Uncertainty about what is happening, intended or required,

7) The state of bewilderment or being unclear in one's mind about something.

 

The word confusion has its origins in Latin from the word confusio, derived from the verb confundere, meaning 'mingled together'.  This made a lot of sense to me.  When I reflect on my own periods confusion, it was often because my thoughts were all mingled together.  They overlapped and blurred, making it hard to figure out what I truly wanted or what direction to take my life.  It felt like I was lost in a fog of uncertainty, unable to separate the good ideas from the bad or make decisions with clarity and purpose.

 

When you exist in a state of confusion, your sense of self can become entangled as well.  You may struggle to understand where you fit in the world, which can directly affect your personal identity.  You feel unanchored, lacking the confidence to trust your instincts or your choices.  The confusion clouds your judgement and keeps you stuck in limbo.

 

Confusion can also manifest situations, where there is often a lot of activity and noise, both physically and mentally, leaving you unsure what to do or how to act.  You do not understand what is happening, what you should do or who you are in the midst of it all.  In essence, confusion is basically, not knowing.

 

So, what does it mean to be confused?

When I speak of confusion, I refer specifically how it relates to life and personal development, especially from a coaching perspective.  Confusion, in this sense, can be a major barrier to achieving the life you want.  In my own life, I experienced confusion not just as disorganisation of thought but as fear—fear of the unknown, fear of change, and fear of stepping into a new version of myself.

 

Self-doubt plays a significant role in fostering confusion. When you constantly question your abilities, decisions, or worth, you open the door for conflicting beliefs and needs to collide. This creates inner chaos, leaving you feeling stuck between opposing desires. You may want something deeply but doubt your ability to achieve it. This doubt creates indecision and hesitation, further deepening the confusion. Fear enters the equation when we consider the unknown: the "what ifs" that plague us when we contemplate making bold moves.

 

For instance, you might desire a new job in a different country. The opportunity seems perfect—exactly what you've been dreaming of. Yet, your current situation feels safe, your family is resistant to moving, and suddenly you’re paralysed, unsure of whether to pursue the dream or remain in your comfort zone. Self-doubt and fear collide, and confusion is the result. You can’t tell if it’s the right decision or if your hesitation is simply fear in disguise.

 

The Conflict Within

The conflict within ourselves comes from not being able to differentiate between what is a good idea, a bad idea, a positive thought, or a negative one. This internal conflict feeds confusion and keeps us from moving forward. When we are confused, we fail to trust our instincts, questioning every decision and fearing the consequences of the unknown.

 

There are many ways confusion leads to conflict within ourselves:

- Fear of the unknown: We are often afraid of stepping into uncharted territory, and that fear keeps us anchored to the familiar, even if it no longer serves us.

- Knocking on closed doors: When we persistently seek answers in places or situations that aren’t aligned with our values or desires, we feel trapped in a cycle of frustration.

- Living out of alignment with our values: Confusion arises when we live according to others' expectations or societal norms rather than our true desires. We feel conflicted about who we are and what we want because our actions don't reflect our core beliefs.

- Confusion about what we want: When we’re unsure about what we truly desire or what direction we should take, it’s nearly impossible to make decisions that feel right for us.

- Lack of self-belief: If you don't believe in your ability to succeed, even the clearest of goals can become muddled. Self-belief is the anchor that grounds us, giving us the confidence to move through confusion and fear.

 

Moving Through Confusion

Self-doubt, fear, and a lack of self-belief all contribute to confusion, clouding our ability to think clearly and trust our instincts. It’s easy to remain in a state of confusion when we don’t have a strong sense of self or clarity about our goals. But by nurturing self-belief, we can start to eliminate confusion and move forward with purpose.

 

When you have belief in yourself—when you trust in your capabilities and embrace your potential—confusion loses its grip. Self-belief clears the fog, helping you navigate through fear and uncertainty with a sense of confidence.

 

Final Thoughts

I hope this has given you some food for thought and a better understanding of how confusion can shape your decisions and impact your life. Remember, confusion often stems from fear, doubt, and a lack of self-belief, but by addressing these internal struggles, you can start to find clarity.  Your thoughts and feedback are always welcome 😊

 

If you’re ready to break free from confusion and step confidently towards your goals, let’s connect!  Join me on a journey to embrace who you truly are and build the unshakeable self-belief you deserve. Reach out today, and let’s start transforming your life, one step at a time.