The 3 Biggest Mistakes I Made While Trying to Build My Self-Belief (And How You Can Avoid Them)

Building self-belief is a journey we all find ourselves on at some point, but it's rarely a straightforward path. Over the years, I’ve come to realise that, like many, I made some mistakes along the way that drained my time, energy, and motivation. Here are three key missteps I encountered in trying to strengthen my self-belief. By sharing them, I hope you can avoid these same pitfalls.

When I look back, I can see just how much of my earlier struggles were rooted in misunderstanding what self-belief actually is. Many of us assume self-belief appears once we accomplish something impressive enough to “deserve it.” But the truth is the opposite—self-belief is what enables the accomplishments. It shapes your decisions, your willingness to try, your resilience, and the way you talk to yourself when things get difficult.

And because so many of us were never taught how to build self-belief from the inside out, we fall into patterns that keep us stuck, doubting ourselves, and questioning our worth. If you recognise yourself anywhere in this journey, take heart. Awareness is the beginning of transformation.

Mistake 1: Relying Too Much on Others for Validation

When I first set out to build my self-belief, I made the classic mistake of seeking validation from others. I thought that if people recognised my strengths, I’d finally start to believe in myself. Surely, hearing positive feedback from those around me would reinforce my sense of worth, wouldn’t it?

But I was wrong. Relying on external validation only created a cycle of dependency. I ended up placing my sense of self-worth in other people’s hands, allowing their opinions (or lack thereof) to dictate how I felt about myself. When that validation wasn’t forthcoming, I felt empty, frustrated, and even more doubtful. It took me time to understand that true self-belief must come from within. Nobody else can give you the inner assurance you’re looking for. I learned the hard way that self-belief is an internal journey—and it’s one only I could make.

When we rely on external validation, we unknowingly give our power away. We wait for approval before we move. We wait for reassurance before we trust ourselves. We wait for praise before we believe our progress matters.

But the moment you stop outsourcing your worth is the moment you begin reclaiming your life.

Mistake 2: Comparing My Journey to Others

The second mistake that held me back was constantly comparing my progress to others who appeared brimming with confidence. Whether it was scrolling through social media or watching friends and colleagues, I’d find myself wondering, “Why aren’t I where they are?” or “What do they have that I don’t?”

This comparison trap only served to drain my energy and reinforce feelings of inadequacy. The more I focused on other people’s achievements, the harder it became to acknowledge my own. Eventually, I realised that self-belief is a uniquely personal journey. Comparing my path to someone else’s only distracted me from my progress. Letting go of these comparisons freed up the mental space I needed to focus on my own growth and helped me to appreciate how far I’d come in my own right.

Comparison steals two things:
✨ Your joy
✨ Your direction

And when you're constantly looking sideways, you lose connection with your own path, your own pace, your own potential.

When I stopped comparing myself to others, I realised something powerful:
I wasn’t behind. I wasn’t failing. I wasn’t lacking.
I was simply growing at my own speed.

Mistake 3: Ignoring My Inner Critic

The third mistake I made was trying to ignore my inner critic. I thought that if I pushed those nagging doubts to the back of my mind, they’d disappear. But I soon found that ignoring them only made them louder.

What I’ve come to understand is that ignoring our inner critic doesn’t help us build self-belief; in fact, it often makes the journey more challenging. By facing those doubts head-on and understanding their root causes, I began to take away their power. Now, when my inner critic speaks up, I listen to what it’s saying, question its validity, and reframe the thoughts in a way that aligns with a more supportive inner dialogue. This shift has been essential in helping me move forward with genuine self-belief.

Ignoring your inner critic might feel like the easier option, but it creates a pressure cooker effect. The more you suppress the doubt, the louder it becomes. What actually builds self-belief is learning to respond to your inner critic with truth, compassion, and clarity.

It is in the dialogue—not the silence—that transformation happens.

Why These Mistakes Matter

These three mistakes might seem small on the surface, but they have a profound impact on your identity, actions, and emotional wellbeing.

They keep you:
• doubting your capability
• delaying your dreams
• minimising your potential
• and living smaller than you’re meant to

The truth is, self-belief determines the quality of every decision you make. It shapes the risks you take, the opportunities you accept, the relationships you allow yourself to have, and the standard you set for your life.

And here’s the part nobody tells you:
Self-belief doesn’t suddenly appear one day.
It is cultivated, nurtured, and strengthened—intentionally and consistently.

The Path Forward: Building the Version of You Who Believes Deeply in Themselves

If you’ve recognised yourself in any of these mistakes, take comfort in knowing that nothing is wrong with you. These patterns are incredibly common—even among high achievers, visionaries, and leaders.

What matters is what you do next.

Self-belief grows when:
• you learn to validate yourself
• you stop comparing your journey
• you confront your inner critic
• you act in alignment with who you want to become
• you allow yourself to be supported
• you choose consistency over perfection

And self-belief becomes unshakeable when you place yourself in an environment that reinforces your identity, strengthens your mindset, and keeps you committed to your growth.

That leads me to your single, aligned call to action.

If You’re Ready to Strengthen Your Self-Belief and Create a Life That Reflects Your True Potential…

Join the Crowned Year: Self-Belief Planning Circle Waiting List

This 12-month experience is designed to support women and men in building lasting self-belief through clarity, intentional planning, mindset strengthening, community, and steady growth month after month.

Inside the Crowned Year Circle, you’ll:

✨ Reconnect with your identity and direction
✨ Understand and overcome limiting patterns
✨ Build confidence through consistent, aligned action
✨ Create a life that reflects your truth
✨ Grow inside a community that champions you

This isn’t rushed transformation or temporary motivation — it’s a grounded, intentional journey into deeper self-trust and purpose.

If you’re ready to stop doubting, start believing, and step confidently into your future, begin here:

The new cohort starts April. To reserve your place, simply add your name to the waiting list and be among the first to receive access.

👉 Join the Crowned Year Waiting List
Your evolution starts with a choice — and this is the next aligned step.