Are You Pursuing What You Really Want?

When I speak to clients about creating a life they love, one of the first questions I ask is: “What do you spend most of your time on?” The answers are always revealing. Then, I ask, “Do those things align with what you really want?” And, almost every time, the answer is a resounding NO.

Why is that?

You see, life is either aligned with your values, or it isn’t. You have a unique set of values, and when your choices reflect those values, everything feels… right. There’s a sense of fulfilment and peace—a knowing that you are living authentically. On your deathbed, you could look back with a smile and say, “I truly lived my life.”

But when your life is out of alignment? That’s when the treadmill starts. You’re constantly striving, pushing, and reaching for the next thing, but it never feels like enough. And why is it never enough? Because you can’t fill the void with things that don’t genuinely matter to you.

Let’s explore this a little more.

The Things We Strive For

We all have a list of “things we strive for.” Common ones include:

• Money

• Recognition or fame

• Power or status

• Sex

• Achievement

• Material possessions (big house, flashy car)

• More time

On the surface, these things look logical. Sensible. Even necessary in today’s world.

But then, compare that with what people say they really want when they dig deep:

• Love

• Intimacy

• Adventure

• Peace

• Security

• Freedom

• Creativity and self-expression

Do you see the difference?

A client of mine once shared that she was obsessed on achieving success. But as we peeled back the layers, it became clear that her drive for achievement was rooted in a desire to feel accepted. She didn’t actually care about the accolades—what she truly longed for was a sense of belonging.

This is far more common than we think.

Most of us strive for things that symbolise what we want… instead of going straight for the real thing.

We chase money, hoping it brings peace.
We chase sex, hoping it brings intimacy.
We chase status, hoping it brings love.
We chase possessions, hoping they bring worthiness.
We chase achievements, hoping they prove our value.

But symbols can never replace the actual thing.

The Reality of Striving

Here’s the thing: most people believe that if they achieve the things they’re striving for—money, fame, success—they’ll naturally get what they really want: love, peace, or freedom. But it doesn’t work like that.

Let me put it another way:

"Typical life often looks like this: wearing clothes you bought for work, sitting in traffic in a car you’re still paying off, heading to a job you need to afford the house that sits empty most of the day."

Does that sound like fulfilment to you?

And here’s the kicker: Anything you’re striving for that isn’t rooted in your values will always feel out of reach.

Because striving without alignment feels like running without direction.

You’re moving, yes — but are you going anywhere meaningful?

Are you moving toward a life that feels like yours?

Or are you unconsciously running someone else’s race?

Why Not Go Straight for the Good Stuff?

What if, instead of striving for the things, you focused directly on what you really want?

What if you began to prioritise:

Love over achievement
Peace over productivity
Freedom over perfection
Joy over obligation
Fulfilment over approval

Imagine how different your decisions — and your life — would look.

Imagine waking up every day knowing your actions reflect your values… not the world’s demands.

Imagine building a life that fills you, nourishes you, honours you.

You deserve that kind of life.

Action Time: Realigning Your Priorities

Ready to reassess? Let’s dive into three simple steps:

Step 1: Ask Yourself

“What’s ONE thing I want more of in my life?”

If you were granted the chance to have just one thing in your life, what would you choose? More of something you already have or something entirely new? Be honest with yourself. Is it love? Adventure? Freedom? Peace?

This question alone reveals more truth than most people expect.

Often, what we truly want has been sitting quietly beneath the surface — waiting for permission.

Step 2: Reflect on Your Time

What do you spend most of your time striving for?

If you value strong relationships, are you actively nurturing them, or are you spending hours working overtime for more money? Do the “80-test”: Imagine yourself at 80, looking back on your life. Will the things you’re striving for today allow you to feel fulfilled and proud?

When you zoom out, life becomes much clearer.

You see what matters.
You see what drains you.
You see what needs to change.

Step 3: Realign and Take Action

If your priorities are aligned, congratulations! But if they’re not, it’s time to make changes.

What are you willing to let go of to realign your life with what matters most? Write it down. Then, define the specific actions you’ll take to bring about change.

For example: if you’re spending too much time at work and want to focus on health, you might set a limit on your working hours and commit to regular exercise or meal planning during the time you’ve freed up.

Small shifts create big transformations.

Consistency builds momentum.
Alignment builds peace.
Peace builds fulfilment.

And fulfilment… that’s the life you were born to live.

Final Thoughts

Pursuing what you really want isn’t always easy—it requires honesty, reflection, and action. But the reward? A life that feels full, purposeful, and authentically yours.

So, take a deep breath and ask yourself: Am I pursuing what I really want? If the answer is no, you have the power to change that. Your dream life starts with one simple step: choosing to live in alignment with your values.

Step Into a Values-Aligned Life

If this message stirred something in you — if you felt a nudge, a whisper, or a quiet ache for more alignment — then your next step is here.

The Crowned Year: Self-Belief Planning Circle
is a guided 12-month journey designed to help you:

✨ Live intentionally rather than reactively
✨ Build a life rooted in your values
✨ Make decisions that honour who you are becoming
✨ Create space for what matters most
✨ Stay aligned with your purpose, peace, and truth

If you’re ready to get off the treadmill and begin living your life — not the life society expects — then Crowned Year is your next step.

👉 https://besomeboddie.com/crowned-year

Your aligned life is waiting.
Let’s walk into it together.