From an early age, we’re conditioned to seek validation—whether it’s from parents, teachers, friends, or even complete strangers on social media. But constantly chasing approval comes at a cost. It can leave you feeling drained, stuck, and disconnected from who you really are. The truth is, being true to yourself is far more fulfilling than living for someone else’s expectations. When you choose authenticity over approval, you start to build self-trust, confidence, and a life that actually feels like *yours*.
Why Do We Crave Approval?
Let’s be real—wanting to be liked is natural. It’s hardwired into us because, historically, being part of a group meant survival. But in today’s world, that same need for belonging can lead to people-pleasing, fear of rejection, and overcommitting to things that don’t serve you.
The real question is: Are you shaping your life around what you want, or what you think will make others happy?
The Cost of Seeking Approval
If you’ve ever felt exhausted from trying to keep up appearances, you’ll know how draining approval-seeking can be. Here’s what it can cost you:
- Your Identity – You end up moulding yourself to fit other people’s expectations instead of embracing who you truly are.
- Your Energy – Keeping up a facade is exhausting and unsustainable.
- Your Confidence – You second-guess yourself, worrying about judgment.
- Your Dreams – You might hold back on opportunities because you’re scared of stepping outside the box.
How to Choose Authenticity Over Approval
So, how do you start showing up as your real, unfiltered self?
1. Get Clear on Your Values
Your values are your inner compass. What really matters to you? Freedom? Honesty? Creativity? When your choices align with your values, life feels more fulfilling—because you’re living *your* truth, not someone else’s.
2. Stop Letting Fear of Judgment Hold You Back
What’s the worst that could happen if you showed up as your true self? Most of the time, the things we fear (like judgment or rejection) aren’t as bad as we imagine. People will always have opinions, but they don’t define you. You define you.
3. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
Saying ‘no’ to what doesn’t serve you is an act of self-respect. Your time, energy, and wellbeing matter. You’re not responsible for managing other people’s expectations of you.
4. Ditch Perfectionism
Authenticity isn’t about being flawless—it’s about being real. If you’re always striving for perfection, ask yourself: Am I doing this for me, or for approval? Perfectionism can be a mask for fear of not being ‘enough’. But you *are* enough, exactly as you are.
5. Find Your People
The right people will accept and appreciate you for who you truly are. When you stop pretending to be someone you’re not, you naturally attract relationships that feel more genuine and nourishing.
6. Trust Your Gut
Your intuition knows what’s right for you. The more you listen to it—rather than the noise of outside opinions—the clearer your path becomes.
The Freedom of Being Yourself
Choosing authenticity over approval is liberating. It means no longer living by other people’s rules but by your own values and truth. The more you honour yourself, the more self-respect and confidence you build—and the right people will respect and appreciate you for it, too.
So, next time you catch yourself craving approval, ask yourself: *Am I being true to myself?* Because the most powerful thing you can be is *you*.
Ready to Start Living Authentically?
If you’re ready to let go of approval-seeking and step into your true self, let’s talk. Book a Clarity Call today, and let’s explore how you can start showing up fully and unapologetically as you. Click here to book your session now!